No More Swallowing - She MUST Spit. Pay Attention!

MSNBC
Sperm: The 'gift' that keeps on giving
CHICAGO — An appeals court said a man can press a claim for emotional distress after learning a former lover had used his sperm to have a baby. But he can’t claim theft, the ruling said, because the sperm were hers to keep. The ruling Wednesday by the Illinois Appellate Court sends Dr. Richard O. Phillips’ distress case back to trial court. Phillips accuses Dr. Sharon Irons of a “calculated, profound personal betrayal” after their affair six years ago, saying she secretly kept semen after they had oral sex, then used it to get pregnant. He said he didn’t find out about the child for nearly two years, when Irons filed a paternity lawsuit. DNA tests confirmed Phillips was the father, the court papers state. Phillips was ordered to pay about $800 a month in child support, said Irons’ attorney, Enrico Mirabelli....

Fuckin' right he can press a claim. The whole point of "going oral" is that there's no threat of a kid comin' down the pike in nine months. But, really, how does this happen? He finishes, and what, she runs into the bathroom and somehow spits out his junk and pops it the vajajay real fast? That's premeditated! Game over! Foul! Penalty! Bang. Pay attention!

Man Goes In For Circumcision, Comes Out Without Penis. Wait, What?

This raises the age-old question: Would you rather live with cancer or without a penis? Tough one....


Now, here's a story about a guy who actually volunteered for the procedure (Yikes!).


NewsTime
Filipino Genius Cuts Off Penis To End Jibes

A man in the Filipino city of Cagayan de Oro City has surely earned himself an honourable mention in the 2011 Darwin Awards. While his actions did not lead to his death, not yet at least, he has certainly minimised his chances of successfully breeding with a willing female such that he could be safely considered removed from the human gene pool. Our bright spark, from the city of Cagayan de Oro City had put up with jibes over the size of his manhood for most of his life. Nothing new there certainly, as anyone who has enjoyed the friendship of other men would attest. But it was this genius’s remedy for the teasing that just takes the cake, the euphemistic equivalent of which he will find in scarce supply soon by the way. So fed up was he by the jibes that he decided the best way out was to take a bolo knife (a local type of machete) and remove the entire organ. One can just see this kind of “logic” at work. Penis too small leads to jokes about penis, therefore no penis will mean no jokes about penis, Ahh! Lightbulb moment! Presumably followed shortly by an excruciating scream, and at least an iota of common sense. The man was taken to hospital soon after his moment of genius and has been declared out danger. Doctors have warned though that they will not be able to restore what little manhood he had possessed before. A local shrink, Myrna Villanueva, has warned that the man will need to be monitored once he comes to fully realise what he has done. "Something is [now] missing, and the very important part that is missing speaks of masculinity, power and strength of a man... It's not normal”. No sh*t, is all we have to say here at Newstime.

Hey Brett - The Noose Is Gettin' Tighter

LATimesBlogs

Brett Favre sued by Christina Scavo, Shannon O'Toole for sexual harassment 

Brett Favre was hit with a sexual harassment lawsuit Monday from massage therapists Christina Scavo and Shannon O'Toole, just days after the conclusion of an NFL investigation into lewd text messages and explicit pictures allegedly sent to sideline reporter Jenn Sterger when she and Favre were both on the New York Jets payroll. The Minnesota Vikings quarterback on Sunday announced his retirement (again) from professional football, after not playing in the Vikings' game against the Detroit Lions. Scavo and O'Toole allege that while they were working for the Jets during training camp in 2008, Favre sent text messages to a fellow massage therapist, hinting at a threesome with Scavo and saying he was "lonely" and had "bad intentions." They also allege that a Jets coordinator told one of the women in October she and the others should keep their mouths shut, and that they would never work for the Jets again. The lawsuit was filed Monday in New York against Favre, the Jets and Lisa Ripi, the woman who coordinated massage therapists during training camp...

Hooker Irma Nici says she testify to David Beckham’s “distinguishing characteristics" in Court

The mega scandal involving world renowned soccer star David Beckham took a turn for the down and dirty. Irma Nici, a high priced call-girl alleges to participating in a threesome with Beck and another prostitute.

In response, Beckham has filed a lawsuit against Nici to clear his name.

But, Nici is not backing down.

The Sun reports that the lying hooker who claimed she had a threesome with David Beckham challenged him yesterday to "drop his pants in court" to prove his innocence.

Irma Nici insisted she knew intimate "distinguishing characteristics". Becks sources branded her a desperate, raving liar, and he has lodged a £16million writ.

Sources close to the soccer legend hit out after the 26-year-old Bosnian hooker challenged him to drop his pants in court to prove his innocence.

Nici - who was yet again unable to provide any evidence to support her allegations - claimed she had seen "distinguishing characteristics" which would support her story.

But Team Beckham lawyers vowed to step up their bid to sue her and the US magazine which published the vile slur for £16million damages.

And a Beckham source said: "This should be seen for what it is - the ravings of a desperate woman.

"She is a malicious fantasist without a single shred of evidence to support her pack of lies.

"The writs stand against her, the magazine and its publishers. The statement is further proof that she has absolutely no evidence.

"If she had, she would have disclosed it by now to one of the many publications she has been trying to hawk her story to. It is not surprising that she's had no takers."

The source added: "Attention is now being focused on the magazine publishers as to why they maliciously went ahead with this article, knowing it was based on lies."

Nici's management said earlier: "Irma stands by her previous statements. Any lawsuit against her is a publicity stunt and without merit.

"Any attorney who brings an action against her should be prepared to face sanctions and pay all legal costs because they will lose.

"There is more to the story that Irma hasn't told yet. We are highly confident that Irma can provide enough detail and other forms of proof to persuade a jury that her tryst with David Beckham did indeed take place.

More details here

This is rounding out to be a nasty fight.



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