How To Guarantee That The Cops Beat Your Ass Hard

This is pretty much securing the outcome before you even get there. I can only imagine the size of the welts and bruises on Mr. Tinkles by the time he got to see a judge (if he ever did). Dude's probably servin' a life sentence somewhere in Cuba.

Guy Washes His Hands With Piss And A Urinal Cake

Has this guy never seen one of those blue things before? Now, I'm tempted to cut him some slack 'cause it seems like he's in a foreign country and we all know they do some seriously strange shit in foreign countries. But a piss trough is a piss trough and a urinal cake is a urinal cake pretty much all over the world. Final verdict - you're a moron. Bang! Pay attention.