Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Would You Rather Steal From Walmart Or Run Naked Through The Street?
S.J. shoplifter: Theft was part of bet
MILLVILlE - Hey, a bet's a bet. Authorities arrested a conflicted shoplifter who admitted he had to choose between shoplifting $50 worth of merchandise at Walmart or running "through the street naked" after losing a bet, according to a police report. Police arrested 58-year-old Irwin Krakow of 4th Street at 2:28 p.m. Saturday and charged him with shoplifting at Walmart on North 2nd Street. Upon further reflection, Krakow told police, he should have run naked instead because "the fine would be smaller," the report said. Police did not indicate what type of bet Krakow made or on which street he would have had to streak. And even if he hadn't been arrested, Krakow would not have satisfied the conditions of the bet. Krakow was caught shoplifting a USB card, two dinner spoons, a nutcracker, a decorative tree and T-shirts, police said. But the value of those items totaled $43.82 -- short of his $50 goal, the report said.
That's right Irwin, you picked the wrong one. Even though you're fifty-eight and people probably don't want to see that, you always go with the smaller fine! Hey, you already lost the bet, don't compound it. And by the way, one more item and you would've had your $50 worth of stuff. Irwin, Irwin, Irwin, I'm so ashamed of you.
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